Frerard
by Batterybaby
Summary: He was starring at Gerard when he said 'I love this guy so much, like, I've known him forever, and we mess around on stage like, to uh show that it's okay to show some love to the people you care about" he smiled at his best friend.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

Gerard stomped into the bedroom, slamming the heavy metal sliding door shut before slumping into the pile of junk on his bunker. He didn't bother kicking off his wet muddy boots or flinging off his rain soaked clothes. He rested his chin on his folded arms and watched a small pink drop fall onto his wrist from his red greasy hair that was glued to his forehead. He tried to suppress the tears that were almost overflowing from his stinging eyes by shutting them tight, only some tears managed to escape and slid down leaving clean streaks on his dirty face. The bus was warm, but the cold wet clothes uncomfortably hugged his skin causing his body to convulse in tremors. He didn't care though, he felt numb to everything. To the murmurs of the TV left on in the "living room", to the low rumble of the heater, to the smell of humid clothes and smelly socks.

He decided to concentrate on his breathing that was still shaky, not so much from the cold, but from the conversation he had just had on the phone with his wife or whatever she was now. A shot of pain ran through his chest on that last thought. The news had broken him into two even though somewhere deep inside he had expected this day. He remembered being that broken teenager, that hopeless druggy, the underdog,

The nobody.

He thought of his daughter, what would this mean for her now? She was so young...and so innocent. So unaware of how sad and cruel the world she was growing up in. He wanted to protect her, to shield her from all the unhappiness he felt. Another broken family,

Another statistic.

He thought of the moments where he thought his life had turned around, the moments where he was no longer that same person, but a new person altogether, or maybe the best version of himself, he didn't know. He was happy, genuine happiness that was not being manufactured by a fucked up beverage or a pill. Now he felt lower than ever,

More dead than alive.

Everything he had created, from his fresh new outlook on life to the bright messages he sent out to his fans was crushing into pieces inside him,

Then his body stopped shaking and the other bunks with heaps of stuff slowly went black.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

With his eyes still shut he tried to situate himself.

The room was brightly lit and the light made his eyelids an annoying shade of orange. Dry ones had replaced his cold wet clothes, his nasty boots and soaked socks were off too and there was some a nice warm weight on him that was probably a blanket. It smelled like shit still, so he knew he was still in the bedroom.

"Gerard! Dude, you okay?-Guys! H-He's coming around!-dude what happened?" Frank yelled while shaking his chest. Gerard jerked away from his best friend's frantic yells and suddenly felt really sick to his stomach. His eyes shot open as he felt a hot acid race up his throat and he rolled over just in time to puke on the floor. He had no idea where Frank was standing; he hoped none of it landed on Frank.

"Woah Woah! Ew! Dude! Man, Gee! You okay man? Ugh, that's so gross…" Frank hollered. Gerard spit until his mouth felt clean and rolled onto his back hugging his stomach. He closed his eyes to stop the tiny room from spinning. He heard the metal door slide open and two pairs of feet shuffle through.

"Oh, ugh gross…" He heard his kid brother say.

"Should we call someone?" Ray asked unsure. From the way he said it, it sounded like he had a sour face too.

"Gee, do you want us to take you to the hospital?" Frank had calmed, but his voice was still urgent.

Gerard did not want to open his mouth afraid of any other stomach fluid coming out. His head still hurt but he managed to shake his head slightly.

He heard Frank whisper something he couldn't make out and a pair heavy footstep walked out. Despite how shitty he felt, he smiled internally at his best friend.

"Dude we were looking everywhere for you and you wouldn't answer your phone" he heard his brother say with anger rising in his voice. "Frank thought you might've come back to the bus for coffee, we were going nuts you know! This isn't the nicest place we've toured to…"

Gerard was surprised that the thought of coffee made his stomach churn uncomfortably, he tried to open his mouth but couldn't find the strength to speak. He did know that though, this city must have been fucking cursed.

"Yo take it easy Mikey, he's good now…well he could be better, but at least we know he's safe." Frank retorted. Gerard felt a rush of emotion at the sound of Frank's voice.

"I guess, should we tell Lind-" Mikey stopped when he heard a painful whimper come from his brother.

The pain started again, this time escaping his chest stretching through every nerve in his body. His chest heaved and he felt Frank and Mikey shift their weight uncomfortably.

Mikey hesitated a moment and cleared his throat before placing his hand on Gerard's wrist.

"Bro?" he sounded strained.

Frank spoke, his voice careful "Is everything okay with Lindsey?"

Tears flowed down Gerard cheeks now and his throat made choking noises. He hated himself for crying in front of them, but he felt so weak.

Frank was over him now, an arm stretched tightly over Gerard spastic chest. "Gee? Gee? Gee!" His voice was shaky like if he was about start bawling too.

Gerard's eyes burned. He wanted to die right then and there. Disappear from this world. He did not want to hurt his wonderful friends or annoy his beautiful talented wife. He did not want to burden his innocent daughter…

Sometime in between his pathetic sobs and waterworks, Mikey had turned off the bright fluorescent light pulled Frank off of him and dragged him out of the room, leaving Gerard alone in the darkness.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

It seemed like days had past when Gerard woke.

He pried his eyes open, which had been dried shut from his pussy crying session, but he didn't care anymore.

The room was pitch black except for a small florescent square that shined from living room through the metal door.

He tried to listen but there was nobody in the room. He could hear the same familiar sounds of the TV and the heater only this time they were joined by a low grumble from the moving bus.

He was still alive, unfortunately. Not like crying killed you.

He was about to take in a deep breath though his stuffy nose before remembering the vomit that was probably still sitting by his bunk. He sniffed carefully and smelled something totally unexpected. Covering up the smell of sweaty socks was the delicious smell of fresh brewed coffee.

His stomach, which had nearly settled, lunged at the invisible mug.

He sat up slowly squinting while the metal door slid open quietly and a small slim figure slipped through the brightness, Frank.

"Hey…" Frank said carefully. Despite everything, a small smile cracked on Gerard's face.

"H-Hey" Gerard's voice was coarse.

He felt a sudden weight on his bed and a strong smell of humidity and Frank's cologne washed over Gerard as Frank planted a perfect kiss on his cheek.

"I'm really glad your okay Gee" Frank said his voice smiling.

Gerard cheeks had gone warm.

"I had Ray get you some coffee…" he said straining away from the bed.

"…Starbucks" he said happily, searching for Gerard's hand and placing the wonderfully hot mug in his hand.

Gerard grabbed the coffee with his right hand and used the other to hold on to frank to help shift his body to a comfortable upright position.

Frank tried to reach for cup but he was too late. Gerard was scuffing the scorching coffee down his throat. It was burning the shit out of him but it tasted amazing.

He didn't stop drinking until the last drop was gone. He had lost complete sensibility in his mouth and he was sure he probably had some degree burn.

"So…uh, do you want to talk about…" he said hesitantly. Frank's head was slightly covering the small light that was filtering through the door from the living room. Which Gerard was thankful for because he'd hate to see his best friend's perfect face troubled. He could imagine Frank's eyebrows pulled together over his green eyes and his lips turned down at the corners. Sadness and pain did not go with Frank's face; he'd rather drink more boiling coffee than do that to him. Gerard closed his eyes and tried to ignore his aching chest. He attempted to focus on breathing to steady his face, he knew Frank could see him perfectly.

"S-sorry…we-we don't have to talk about it's…it's fine…" Frank's voice trailed off. Gerard felt a shot of pain and suddenly felt an urge to wrap his arms around his small friend. To feel his soft skin and smell his cologne. He wanted to stay there and die. That would be a nice place to die, right?

Frank beat him to the punch.

He wrapped his skinny arms around Gerard's neck. His small frame shook and this hurt Gerard more than the words Lindsey had said to him a couple hours ago or was it days ago? He didn't care.

"Frankie?" he asked frantically as he tried to pry frank's face from his neck to get a better look at his best friend. What had he done?

"Gee! I can't! I can't see you go through that again man! I can't stand to just sit around again and watch you destroy yourself! Dude please I just…" he sobbed.

Everything happened in a rush and Gerard didn't know why he did it. Then again, he didn't know why it happened during shows either, but he grabbed his best friend's face with both hands and planted his lips hard on Frank Iero's lips. Frank's lips responded to Gerard's, it was automatic. Gerard's hands moved with a mind of their own from the sides of Frank's head through his greasy locks slightly tugging at the roots as he'd done before. Frank let out a low moan as his arms hugged his best friend.

Gerard couldn't think or feel anything but their lips continuing to move with tongues greeting and twirling with each other.

They both stopped, panting.

Gerard closed his eyes trying to release the adrenaline that had devoured them both.

He laid back down bringing Frank with him; his head was spinning again.

Frank's head was now spiraling too as he tried to catch his breath.

Before either could organize their thoughts, they fell into a deep and confused sleep clinging to one another.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

The next morning Gerard woke up to find himself alone once more.

He felt groggy and his head felt heavy, but thankfully the room was in its rightful place.

There was no sound of the TV or the moving bus, just the heater humming somewhere far behind him. The analog clock was hidden somewhere in the messy bedroom along with his phone. He wondered if his wife had called.

This time he didn't feel pain, just emptiness. He felt hollow inside and he was sure it was not just because he hadn't eaten in hours.

His stomach rolled as he stood up from the bed. He felt a little dizzy at first but he managed to balance himself with the cold metal door and slid through it.

The living room was in the same shape as it was yesterday. Articles of clothing lying everywhere, cups and bottles on every flat surface, DVDS and game controllers; they lived like pigs, or like those people they call hoarders on TV. It made the room look smaller than it was already, add five guys plus Ray's fro and it was just plain claustrophobic.

On the small steel fridge door next to the calendar and various pictures was a small highlighter yellow sticky. Mikey's handwriting scribbled "There's fresh orange juice in the fridge, we'll bring breakfast".

Gerard's stomach gurgled in delight at the idea of fresh tangy orange juice. He swung open the fridge and drank straight from the pitcher until his stomach was done complaining. His mouth and throat felt like sandpaper from the steaming coffee he had chugged last night.

He suddenly remembered the press they had to do today with some teen magazine he had never even heard of.

"Mother…" he said out loud running an angry hand through his hair.

Why didn't they wake him?

He ran into the room and searched for his phone. He had nearly flipped his bunk upside down when it plopped onto the floor.

He had a couple of missed calls from the guys but they were dated from yesterday; nothing from Lindsey.

The time said 10:46. He ran back to the calendar that informed him that he was two hours and forty six minutes late. He sighed and sat on his bed. He then noticed his clothing. He was wearing one of the band shirts with the spider, it was white with light shades of pink towards the collar from Gerard sweating or crying or who cares what on his hair. He was wearing some plaid pj pants that were a bit loose; he figured they were Ray's.

He heard loud voices outside the bus and the main door slammed open.

"Dude keep it down Gerard might still be-" Frank's voice hushed.

"Sorry" Bob laughed. His boombing laughter echoed through the bus.

Gerard smiled, He was excited to see his friends.

When he rushed open the sliding door a gracious smell of eggs and sausages slapped him in the face.

"Gee!" Frank squealed. The first things Gerard noticed was Frank's green eyes that were starring right into his. They were a glossy jade color from the reflection of the sunlight. His smile was very cat like or maybe child like? Gerard quickly suppressed a painful thought of Bandit.

Frank's dark hair was sticking out from under a striped beanie. He was wearing a big baby blue t-shirt that had been attacked by scissors to reveal Frank's rib cages. An olive green scarf was hanging loosely from his neck. He had a large thick jacket that was hanging off his right arm and a heavy looking sack of food hung from his other.

"Hey bro how ya feelin'?" His brother Mikey who looked more like an emo abdominal snowman walked towards him and hooked a fluffy arm around Gerard's shoulder.

"Okay-definitely better, just hungry" Gerard said slowly his eyes still on Frankie's.

They waited for a reaction from Frank who was carrying the food.

"We got you" Ray said snatching the bag of food from motionless Frank; his eyes had been locked with his best friend's.

When Ray yanked the bag from Frank it had snapped his gaze and he stared down seriously at his shoes. His cheeks had a rosy color to them, though Gerard wasn't sure if they had been there from the cold.

The sack of food landed in Gerard's arms but he was still wondering why Frank had been starring at him so strangely.

They did it all the time, only they knew each other so well that they could have silent conversations and they could read exactly what the other was saying. But Gerard had no clue what that was all about. Could he have found out about Lindsey?

"Sorry we left without you, but we didn't want wake you for some stupid interview, and you looked pretty shitty last night…" Mikey explained as he walked his brother to the couch.

Gerard tried desperately to lock eyes with Frank again, he was worried he had upset his friend, but Frank continued to look down at his shoes when he walked past him.

"…The interview sucked anyway, nothing new. They really need to come up with new questions…" Ray continued as Mikey set the food for his brother.

"What else could they possibly want to know!" giggled Mikey.

Gerard ate silently as the guys took turns on the subject and their expectations for the next one in a couple of hours. Gerard watched confused as Frank yanked the heavy jacket and scarf off of him and slammed the metal door of the bedroom shut behind him.

When Gerard finished his breakfast that was plenty for two, he slipped unnoticed between the guys that were engaged in some game he didn't care for.

"Frankie?" he asked sliding the door behind him.

Frank was on his back drawing on a sketch board which he put down to take a look at Gerard.

"Yup?" he said uninterested.

This frustrated Gerard, "Are you going to tell me what's going on?"

Frank shrugged and continued to draw.

Gerard walked to his bunk, which was parallel to Frank's, clenching and unclenching his fists.

"Like, I don't know even know what this is about! I don't know why your upset…!"Gerard spit.

"It's nothing! Okay? Nothings up…I'm just tired, we woke up early" Frank replied agitated. He slashed the sketchbook with his marker.

Gerard closed his eyes, laid back and exhaled. He was not up for this.

Ray stuck his head through the sliding door. "Hey guys, just got a call from the press people, it's a live interview so they want us in a bit earlier in case we need they need to prep us up so we should start getting ready".

"In case we smell too bad to answer questions!" yelled Bob from behind.

Frank pressed the sketchbook to his face and moaned in complaint. Gerard was not excited either. They both got up at the same time nearly bumping into each other.

With their bodies only inches apart Frank closed the distance and hugged him.

"I'm sorry, it's just about last night…" Gerard froze in his Frank's arms. He had forgotten all about that. It was the first time they had kissed outside of a show, what was the excuse for last night? They didn't have an audience to tease or prove anything to, it was just them. Two guys, two best friends that had known each other forever, two married best friends with wives and children, kissing? Or more like making out. Gerard shuttered at the memory, though he didn't understand that reaction either, they had done it before. But then again, not in Gerard's bed.

"…What, uh…what was that?" he choked out.

Gerard throat became tight. He was so embarrassed…

"Geez! You're a horrible kisser, poor Lindsey…" Frank joked awkwardly. The idea surprisingly stung him, was he a bad kisser? Frankie had said during an interview that he was sloppy or slimy…

This bugged Gerard more because he had added "poor Lindsey"; maybe that was one of reasons.

Frank must've felt it because he said "Woah, woah dude I was kidding". He laughed nervously, "lighten up" squeezing him tighter.

"…Look who's talking" Gerard murmured. Frank laughed again, he loved that laugh.

"Let's get ready, that last interview sucked without you" He smiled.

"I heard it sucked either way" Gerard laughed. "Yeah, your right" he admitted laughing too.

He loved Frank so much.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

"So Gerard, we heard you were sick this morning…" the blonde reporter probed.

This made Gerard nervous, shit travels fast. He wondered how long he had before the press found out about Lindsey, he hadn't even told Mikey yet, he suppressed the thought.

"Uh, yeah I got real soaked yesterday and it was freezing so uh…that didn't mix too well with me, I woke up pretty messed up…" he hoped she would leave it at that.

The reporter was the typical Hollywood wannabe. Tall, overly tanned, and glammed out from head to toe. The layers of impeccable makeup made her look perfect when she was really just average looking.

"Oh, that's a shame. Well, we are glad to hear you are feeling better and we are thankful for your effort to be here with us today, despite your health" she said. It sounded so straight off a script.

"Thanks" was all Gerard said.

She continued to ask about their new CD and future tours. Thankfully the guys were feeling talkative. Frankie and Ray answered most of the questions; even Mikey had his share of the limelight. Gerard just wanted to curl up and die.

He wasn't in the mood to be put on the spot. He didn't want anyone else noticing his state of emotion. He didn't want them asking about his family. He hadn't heard from Lindsey, which naturally made him uneasy but this time it was just plain painful.

Frankie had picked up on Gerard's discomfort and answered the reporter's questions quickly before she could pick on him.

"So these pictures were released last week of Frank and Gerard getting steamy on stage, the girls and the guys went wild! But it isn't the first time they show 'chemistry'…" she giggled at her shitty pun. "…On stage, there are more pictures of them actually kissing! What is going on with you two?"

Gerard stiffened and his eyes shot to Frank who was already starring at him.

"Uhm well, Gerard and I are joint at the hip, or at the dick some might say…" he smiled, I'm glad he as playing it off like they always did. He was still starring at me when he said "I love this guy so much, like, I've known him forever, and we mess around on stage like, to uh, show that it's okay to show some love to the people you care about" he smiled at Gerard and looked towards the camera before saying "You know I think sometimes that, instead of moving forward we move backwards as a country when we call people "faggots" it makes people afraid to love each other, and we don't stand for that kind of stuff"

Gerard unconsciously put his arm around Frank and smiled.

"Right, that's a very nice message" the reporter said sounding somewhat disappointed with his answer.

People are unbelievable.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

They had a show coming up in a few days and Gerard had not heard from his wife or child. He left multiple voice messages but neither was returned. Although Gerard tried his best to actual natural, the guys knew something was wrong, and no one but Frank and Mikey had actually attempted to confront him about it unsuccessfully.

Frank, who slept a few feet away from Gerard, had heard him crying one late night. He crawled into Gerard's bed as he had done multiple times before.

"Gee?" he whispered.

When Gerard didn't respond, He pulled his face closer to his until their foreheads were touching, he could've sworn he smelled alcohol on his breath, but he figured it must have been some kind of medicine, since Gee had been sober for 5 years now.

He ached for his suffering friend.

The next morning Frank called Lindsey

He had woken up to find his best friend sound asleep. He always thought Gee looked so innocent and peaceful while asleep, like a child. He carefully kissed him on the cheek careful not to wake him and crawled out of bed. Thankfully the guys were still knocked out too.

He slid out into the living room and picked the heaviest jacket and stepped out into the frozen morning.

He shivered, holy fuck it was freezing!

He searched for Lindsey's number with trembling fingers that were already numb.

After a couple of rings he got her voicemail, he had clearly been ignored.

"Hey uh, Lindsey it's uh, Frank" Fuck he was cold. "I uh, don't really know what's going on with you and Gee but he's-he's pretty messed up and I know he's uh, been calling you like crazy, so if you could just um, call him back? If possible? We got a show coming up and uh…just call him back kay?" And he smacked the red button. And ran up the steps into the warm bus. Ah it felt SO nice!

He was about to hang his coat when his heart sank.

Gerard was in the kitchen making coffee.

"Good morning Frank" he said emotionless not looking at him.

"I…can explain?…" Frank said unsure whether he should move or not.

The smell was intoxicating, as Gerard poured a cup of steaming coffee.

Gerard put the pot back in one of the twenty coffee machines they owned and shoved the cup of coffee into Frank's hand a little too hard, spilling a bit on purpose so that boiling drips of coffee felt like lava dripping on his thumb. It probably would've hurt a bit more if his fingers weren't so numb.

Gerard sat down in the couch and crossed his legs, he picked up a brown paper bag and took a couple of long gulps from it. Wait, Gerard was drinking again?

Gerard took a deep breath and waited till Frankie took a seat on the opposing couch.

When Frank was about to speak, Gerard cut him off "Lindsey called me some days ago saying that…basically this isn't what I'm supposed to be doing right now in my life" Frank's face flipped through twenty different expressions but Gerard caught him again before he spoke "she means by me being in the band, she wants-or wanted me home instead, helping to raise Bandit and taking care of her."

Frank coughed and cleared his throat nervously. But he was at a complete lost for words.

Gerard continued, "the problem is when she was doing the whole MSI thing, no one got in her way! Like…I wasn't a big fan of the music or whatever but I still supported her as much as I could, ya know? I thought it was great what she was doing! And I bet its hard being alone with Bandit all the time…but I'm making a living so she doesn't have to worry about that…" his words were coming out like word vomit. Frank's mouth was open and his wide eyes darted back and forth from Gerard's tragic sweaty face to the trembling brown paper bag in his hand. He still couldn't believe Gerard was drinking again.

"…She cheated on me Frank! She fucking cheated on me in my house! In my bed! In the bed that my fucking child has slept in! She fucking-!" Gerard was full on crying now. Frank lunged himself at him.

"I want to fucking die Frank! I want to fucking DIE!" Gerard was screaming at the top of his lungs. His face was red as the blood pooled around his cheeks. His body convulsing between his desperate sobs.

Gerard tried to get up but fell from the weight of Frank on his neck. He tried to pull him off; he was headed to the kitchen. Frank read his mind. He wrestled Gerard keeping him away from the array of sharp kitchen knives they kept on the counter wall. Gerard tried to get up once more only this time tipping the coffee table which turned over all its contents on Franks back, including his scorching coffee. Frank screamed as the coffee burned his back. Gerard yanked him off and made his way to the kitchen. Frank threw himself at Gerard's feet knocking him down.

By this time Frank and Gerard's yells had woken the others and they were shuffling out of the room like mad men still half asleep and stood trying to put together the image that was in front of them. The coffee table was broken, both Frank and Gerard on the floor both bleeding. Gerard crawling towards them dragging Frank who was grasping his ankles.

Gerard turned over quickly, freeing one of his legs and kicked Frank square in the face. Frank yelped like a puppy, his hands releasing his grasp on Gerard's ankles and holding them to his bleeding face. "Hold him! Don't let him get away" was all Frank could choke out between the blood that was spilling from his mouth and nose.

Ray who had been a petrified statue along with the other two men reacted first grabbing Gerard and pulling him away from the kitchen. Ray was no little Frank and Gerard really had to struggle with him.

Gerard punched Ray in the face, a crack echoed from the punch.

Somehow Ray managed to maintain a steady hold on Gerard. Mikey then stepped in and knocked Gerard out with one hard punch.

Gerard fell limp in Ray's arms, and rolled onto the floor with a thud.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

His eyes opened and he saw the reflection of the destruction around him from the mirror roof of the bus. He saw his body lying like a broken puppet. He was bleeding from his mouth, which was swollen. The place looked like a Hollywood murder scene. There was glass and paper everywhere. The wooden coffee table was snapped exposing wooden teeth. One of the small couches had been turned over along with its contents of CD cases, shoes, trash, and clothing. There were patches of blood on the carpet…

He blinked slowly taking in the destruction.

Tears trickled down his cheeks. His whole body hurt, but it was nothing compared to the immense pain that was consuming him internally.

The door then opened and a big brown fuzz ball walked through the door, it was Ray. He removed his heavy jacket and placed it on the coat hanger. He was carrying what looked like a small ice bag, which he threw at Gerard's chest with some unnecessary force.

Gerard groaned.

"Do you wanna tell me what the fuck is wrong with you?" he demanded starring at him though the mirror overhead.

You can count the few times Ray has gotten mad, Gerard had ever seen him this pissed off.

Gerard groaned.

"The driver nearly called the cops, then what Gerard? Then what? And what the fuck did you want those knives for huh? To kill yourself? Is that what you wanted to do?"

"God!" He huffed. His breathing slowed down, his nose had dry blood around it but it didn't wasn't broken after all.

More tears fell from Gerard's eyes.

Ray threw himself on the floor next to Gerard; Gerard flinched away like he was expecting a blow.

This pained Ray.

"Gee!...why would you flinch away like that? Do you think I would hurt you or something?" He asked helplessly. "Geez, why do you do this to yourself...?"

He picked up the ice bag and placed it against Gerard's face.

Gerard cringed at the cold bag, Mikey had packed a good punch there…

Then he remembered, "Frank!" Gerard cried. "Where is he?"

"It's okay, Frank is with Bob" Ray said trying to soothe Gerard. The anger in his voice had been replaced by sadness.

"What did I fucking do to him?" Gerard wailed. Ray frowned.

Somewhere in the overturned room, Gerard's phone rang. Ray crawled over Gerard to pick it up, "it's Lindsey…"


	8. Chapter 8

_*Author's Note: I'd like to remind my readers that my story is rated M. This next chapter has mature content. Don't forget to Subscribe to receive alerts on updates! _**  
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**Chapter 8**

Hours past before Frank and Mikey came home. Gerard had locked himself in the bedroom and spent the morning drawing. His face swelling had reduced a bit and purple bruises were forming here and there.

Gerard wondered now what would've happened if he had reached those knives. Would he have done away with himself then?

He needed a drink.

Though Ray had disposed of all of the alcohol Gerard had snuck in.

The door slid open, and Frankie's small frame walked through the door.

"Frankie, are you okay? I am so…so sorry, I…" Gerard jump-started and froze when he saw Frankie's face.

Frank had a bandaged up nose and what looked like four stitches on his lips. Gerard's heart broke.

"Frankie!" he leaped up and hugged his best friend. Frank didn't hug back; he shoved Gerard back with unexpected force into his bunk, Gerard's head hitting the wood with a loud thump.

Frank wanted to cry and argue and scream at his best friend. But he didn't have the will or the energy. He merely slumped himself onto his bed and covered his banged up face with a pillow. It hurt.

Gerard carefully climbed into his bed, as he had done multiple times. Frank didn't move. Gerard planted a soft kiss on Frank's neck. He braced for a blow but Frank just exhaled.

"I'm sorry" he into his ear. And Frank finally removed the pillow to look into Gerard's eyes.

To him Gerard was beautiful. His porcelain skin, his sharp features, his deep hazel eyes, the idea of losing him was just…

"I forgive you." he managed to choke out before he finished that thought.

Gerard dared his eyes to look at Frank's face, the dry blood on his chin, and the large white bandage on his nose. His wounds would heal one day (hopefully), but could Frank and Mikey's memory be healed?

Gerard felt sick. He hated himself more than anyone or anything in the world at this moment. He hated himself for bringing down and hurting the only people who honestly cared and loved him with him.

Because he was suffering, he made them suffer too.

He squeezed his eyes shut tears streaming down his cheek; he was not expecting the sudden pressure against his lips.

Gerard's eyes flew open; Frank was kissing him hard despite the stitches. His lips pressing his mouth against his teeth…

"mmmgh" Gerard moaned wrapping his arms around Frank's small back when Frank yelped.

"Frankie?"

"it's okay just that coffee burnt the shit out of me…" he groaned.

Gerard was about to start apologizing but Franks lips were on his again

Despite the fact that he was kissing a man who was also his best friend, Gerard was turned on and horny. His hands clung onto Frank's side pulling him on top of him. Frank's body tensed for a split second surprised and responded by shoving his tongue into Gerard's mouth. Gerard could feel how hard Frank was and he didn't fall behind.

Frank's body had taken control and his best friend was lost somewhere between the biting and pulling of his bottom lip. He growled and moaned hungrily as his hands memorized the sides of Gerard's face.

He was sucking on Gerard's tongue when he mumbled "Gwe I-I wuav you…" he pulled away from Gerard's lips to look at him in the eyes. Gerard noticed Frank's were wet with tears. "I love you" he repeated his hands stroking the side of his face. "Gee, please don't leave me…"

Gerard responded by putting his mouth on Frank's. Their lips synced so naturally.

Sweat was forming on their foreheads as they both gasped for air between their erotic kisses. That's when Gerard realized that he was slowly straining his neck to meet Frank's lips. He opened his eyes to see Frank moving past his abdomen.

"F-frank?" he muttered. Frank didn't answer.

He felt his pants tighten then loosen with the jungle of his belt buckle. He felt light as Frank split his pants open with his zipper. There was a pause where Frank didn't move. All Gerard could hear was his own heavy breathing.

Suddenly Frank pulled Gerard's dick from out of his boxers and shoved Gerard's hard member into his mouth.

Gerard gasped at the surprise and pleasure.

He moaned loudly in pure ecstasy as Frank moved his mouth up and down his shaft. Frank's mouth was wet and warm. It made his dick feel amazing

Frank lifted his head to hush down Gerard. Gerard looked down quickly seizing the opportunity to examine Frank's face. Frank's face was red but he had that same cat-like smile. He stroked Gerard's dick with one hand, he noticed his elbow jerking as his hand stroked his own dick inside his pants, still making eye contact his smile getting wilder, Gerard stared mouth open moaning at his best friend, he was going to cum soon. He could feel his balls getting tighter.

Gerard was back in Frank's mouth, this time he sucked with a greater force. Gerard's hands had found their way into Frank's greasy hair and were pulling his head into his dick. He was going to explode. He shoved Frank off in the neck of time before he came into the sheets.

He almost screamed in pleasure as the hot liquid shot out from his wet swollen dick. He could hear Frank moaning also beside him between his gasps for air. Was he cumming too?

They both laid back like two fish out of water, their chest rising and falling in sync. Gerard looked at Frank who looked lost in thought. Even with a bandaged up nose, Frank looked beautiful.

Frank then noticed Gerard's eyes on him and smiled. The smile was unsure; this made Gerard self-conscious.

"Uh...do you think the guys y-you know, heard us-er anything?" he chuckled lightly. He looked weary, was he in pain?

Gerard gulped. He hoped not, he really really hoped not.

They heard a pair of feet shuffling by the door. They both held their breath.

It was Mikey.

Gerard's body stiffened he found no trace of the young carefree look of his kid brother; he was starring in the face of a man.

"Frank get out, I need to talk to Gerard alone" his voice was flat and controlled. Frank's eyes darted in Gerard's direction seeking reassurance but Gerard did not take his eyes off his brother.

Frank sighed and quickly climbed over Gerard and walked past Mikey glancing back at his best friend before sliding out the door.

Gerard wanted to beg for his forgiveness he wanted to erase everything. Make him forget that his brother almost attempted to kill himself. Make Mikey forget that he had to hit his own brother with all his strength to stop him from cutting his life out, like the words his wife had used cut out his heart. Then he realized that he had done the same if not worse to Mikey.

Mikey didn't look at Gerard as he sat next to his hip on the bed and stared at the floor. There was a long moment before he spoke. "You need…you have to stop doing this…you have-you have a kid now" he said sourly. "It's not fair for Bandit, she shouldn't become a victim to the poor decisions you and Lindsey make".

The words slashed Gerard, he knew that already.

"What Lindsey did was super fucked up. I don't know how I would react myself if Alicia cheated on me. But you cant just try to do away with yourself every time something shitty happens, I thought you were past that already, and the drinking…" he added, his voice now sounded strained.

Gerard didn't know what to say, he was so ashamed and embarrassed to have disappointed his brother.

"You fucked Frankie up pretty bad too, though I see he's forgiven you already…"

Gerard tensed. Had he heard them?

He sighed before letting out a soft chuckle, "hit you pretty hard didn't I?"

Gerard smiled. There was his kid brother.

"You just went out like a light bulb, I swore I had killed you or something" he said shaking his head.

Gerard touched his brother's knee. "I'm sorry Mikey"

Mikey slowly turned and hugged him. Gerard then felt all the bruises and sores. He groaned.

"Woops sorry bro!" he laughed.

"t's okay…"

"So when are you going home?"

"What?" Gerard spat out. Was he joking?

"You have to talk to Lindsey about this, its either tonight or you'll have to wait till next week after our big show this weekend".

Gerard rubbed his sore face, "don't. Say. Her. Name."

"You decide. Have Frank go with you that way you wont be alone, I'd offer but Ray and I have press first thing in the morning and Bob's meeting up with a friend tonight. It's best you catch the earliest flight..."

Conversation was over on Gerard's part. Mikey sensed that, he stroked the swollen side of his brother's cheek lightly.

"You might wanna put some ice on that before linds-er you fly home"


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

"How's your back feeling Frankie?" Gerard said reaching for his backpack.

"Eh" Frank mumbled shrugging off Gerard's hand.

They climbed into the black SUV.

Frank was wearing a white button up shirt he had the collar popped, probably trying to avoid an explanation to the press.

Gerard grid his teeth together to suppress the sharp ache in his chest.

"To the airport gentlemen?" the driver asked, Gerard couldn't see his face in the rear view mirror.

"Yup…" Frank responded starring out the window as the car began to move. The sun was beginning to set

There was definitely an elephant in this car.

He hadn't seen or spoken to Frank since they…did what they did. His stomach dropped and the edges of his teeth curled upwards as he felt his cheeks color.

He sneaked a peek at Frank who, to his surprise, was starring at him now. Gerard quickly looked down at his lap though he was still smiling.

"What?" Frank asked laughing.

"N-Nothing…"

"Tell me."

Gerard laughed nervously, still avoiding eye contact.

Frank slid over and planted a quick kiss on his best friend's cheek.

He wasn't that much of a blusher really, but he felt his cheeks get hotter.

"You're not going to tell…" he paused. He must've realized what, because his cheeks got slightly pink and a quiet "oh…" slipped from his lips.

Gerard waited.

"Uh…" He was smiling at Gerard again, he chuckled uneasily, unsure of what to say.

"We don't have to talk about it…" Gerard said quietly.

"Yeah good idea" he said motioning towards the driver.

They arrived at the airport fairly quickly; but airport security always took long even though they were traveling so lightly. Gerard didn't plan on staying too long besides the upcoming show.

They didn't receive a lot of attention except for dirty looks from the security guards. The swelling on my face had now gone down completely leaving a nice red/purple half moon bruise on the side of my cheek.

When they finally boarded the plane, the sun was gone completely.

After they had put away their bags and settled into their seat ready for take off, Gerard remembered then that he was going "home".

His phone rang and thankfully it was his mother.

He had to restart his heart before he hit the green button.

"…Hello"

"Honey! How are you!"

"I'm doing-fine" he choked. Very convincing.

"…Oh, that's great honey" She must have heard the false note.

"I was speaking to your brother earlier. You're flying home." She wasn't asking. Mikey wouldn't have told Mom, would he?

"Uh-yeah, wanted to see the fam before a show we have this weekend…"

"Are you alone?" her voice sounded worried. If Mike had not told her then she clearly suspected something. Then again, they never traveled before a show to avoid unforeseen complications with flights and stuff.

"No, Frank's with me" he turned to look at Frank who was snoring quietly asleep against the window.

"Is everything alright with Lindsey?" Dammit.

"Y-yeah, why…?"

"Oh nothing sweetie, I was just afraid something had happened…is the little Bandit oka-"

"She's fine Mom." He spit through his teeth. A lump was slowly forming in his throat.

"…Good" she said, sounding hurt.

He pinched his nose.

"Sorry I'm just really tired Mom, it's been a long day and-"

"It's okay sweetie, I love you."

He sighed. Was his intention to hurt everybody he knew?

"I love you too"

"Have a safe flight."


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

They arrived before the sun peaked over the horizon.

The early morning was chilly.

Gerard was deadbeat. He had only slept troubled bits here and there, he had spent most of the time visualizing everything that could go wrong today, he probably dreamt up a couple of scenarios too.

Frank nearly slept the whole plane ride, only once did he wake up, the side of his face marked and red from the window.

He had smiled at him squinting. There was something incredible about Gerard and Frank. They just picked up on each other's thoughts and feelings like fraternal twins.

"Everything's gunna be okay Gee...promise..." he yawned, before knocking out again on Gerard's shoulder.

Frank's smell and weight made him feel safe. He was able to get a few minutes of peaceful sleep before the nightmares disturbed him again.

They un-boarded the plane, and Gerard slipped into the restroom while Frank called for a cab.

The restroom was empty. He turned on the faucet, afraid to look at his reflection.

He let the icy water run through his palms. When the water was warm enough he peeked at the mirror.

He looked worse then he thought.

There were two dark circles under his bloodshot eyes. His hair was tangled and messy, the back was plastered to his scalp, which had stained the back of his neck pink. The bruise on his face was starting to yellow around the red blood spots.

He felt sick. He couldn't do it. He couldn't face Lindsey. He couldn't face his daughter.

He held on to the sink for support from collapsing. The same familiar painful tears swam in his eyes.

He heard the bathroom door slide open and he quickly straightened wiping his tears away. It wasn't Frankie as he had hoped. Some bald guy dressed in heavy navy blue coat nodded at him in the mirror and hurried to a urinal tugging at his zipper. Gerard rinsed his face and let his hands try under the toasty drier.

The bald guy appeared next to him washing his hands slowly. Gerard felt him starring from the corner of his eye. He probably recognized who he was, but was too humble to acknowledge him.

Gerard slipped out the door without so much as glance towards the bald man.

Frank was slumped on a bench with the bags at his feet chewing something that probably came from the yellowish mess in his hand. Next to him was a brown bag with dark spots of grease staining the bottom. Food. Gerard heard his stomach gurgle.

"Hey" he said smiling, he covered his mouth to speak "I got food, hash browns and some other stuff there"

"Thanks."

Gerard sat down next to Frank and picked up the first thing in he felt in the greasy bag, which was fortunately a warm biscuit. He nibbled on it quietly while frank focused on swallowing.

"Gee everything is going to be fine"

Gerard didn't respond.

"Once you guys talk it out, I'm sure things will be okay again."

"Doubt it" Gerard mumbled under his breath.

Frank stood upm dunking the rest of whatever he was eating in the trash and stretched.

"I'm going to watch for our cab, why don't you get us some coffee? It's cold as fuck out there"

"Sure" Coffee sounded good despite his lack of appetite.

"Eat the rest of the food first, you look like shit dude."

Gerard slipped into one of Mikey's black hoodies. He shoved his bright unruly hair into the hood of the jacket. He did not want the cashier from Dunkin Doughnuts recognizing him, or anyone else for that matter.

While in line he sifted through a magazine that read "21 Top Rated Sex Positions" in big bold red letters, even though he had no interest in knowing the 21 top rated sex positions.

"Hi what can I get you?" asked a short blonde girl when he reached the counter. The girl was chubby and had a pink hue to her skin that reminded Gerard of a baby pig.

"Two white mochas one with five shots of expresso please." He was going to need it.

"Wow, uh sure! Coming right up!"

She repeated the order over her shoulder to a curly-haired scrawny looking kid who looked like he was drowning in his apron.

"Will that be cash or-"

"Cash." He avoided showing his name everywhere he went, but of course he had forgotten to take out money.

"Nevermind" he said handing over his bankcard.

"I will need ID please"

He hesitated before pulling out his license, praying that she listened to Justin Beiber and not them.

"Oh, my god!" …Fuck!

"Gerard Way! Omg it's so nice to meet you, I'm such a fan!" She squealed. The sound made his ears hurt. He felt a couple of people turn in his direction.

"Are any of the guys-"

"No just me, look I'm sorry to be rude but I really need to go…"

"Oh, sure…no problem" she blushed embarrassed as she handed him back his card with trembling hands.

When Gerard stepped out of the airport into the cold morning with both coffees in hand, Frank was already loading their bags into a yellow cab.

"Give me some of that I'm freezing my balls off"

They climbed into the cab; Frank pulled out his phone and started showing the driver the route to the Way's.

Gerard looked out the window tuning them out. He saw a little girl around the same age as Bandit waving a doll around by its pigtails. He thought about seeing his little girl running from the porch hugging his middle. He had not realized how much he missed her. Did she remember who "Daddy" was? Was there another man in his house with his daughter? The thought sent a surge a fury; he punched the passenger's seat. Both Frank and the driver jumped.

"Gee?"

"…Sorry I…got a pain." he mumbled through his clenched teeth.

The driver rolled his eyes annoyed and started up the meter. Frank was still starring at him curious and wide-eyed.

Frank's phone rang; he answered not checking the caller ID with his eyes still on Gerard.

"Hello."

"Hey Franks it's Mikey"

"Hey Mikey…" He saw Gerard flinch at his brother's name.

"Did you guys make it okay? How's Gerard?"

"Yeah we made it okay, Gerard's…good" He scrutinized Gerard's face.

"You guys on your way?"

"Yup"

"Cool. Keep me posted alright? I'll call our Mom and let her know you guys are safe"

"…You told-"

"No, but she suspected something was up anyway, you know we never travel before a show"

"I guess"

"…You goin' in with him?"

"I…don't think so"

"…Keep me posted."

Frank poked the red button.

Gerard attempted to look uninterested, though he could see Frankie was still starring at him in the reflection on the glass. He took one last look at the child outside the airport and saw the bald man from the restroom. Gerard swore he was looking in the cab's direction, his lips moving too quick for Gerard to read, to someone on the other side of his phone. Probably telling his teenage daughter how he had pissed in the same bathroom as Gerard fucking Way.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

The house looked unwelcome.

He thought that when he would see his home again, it would re-piece his shattered heart and he could dismiss the past few days like a bad dream. Unfortunately that clearly was not the case.

Lindsey's car was parked crookedly in the driveway as it had always been. A pink tricycle was stationed by the driver's wheel. The evidence of his loved ones cut him. But sent a surge of anger was the strange shiny black sedan. Frank was standing by him now. His fingers curled around his in support, but Gerard was unresponsive. He was numb. He couldn't feel anything or see anything but the shiny black metal car…

"D-do you want me to go in with you?" he whispered the sound of fear was so clear in his voice…

Gerard didn't answer. He stepped forward letting Frank's hand drop. Each step seemed like an eternity.

The icy wind was rampant slapping his face from every side. Leaves flew around him lost in an unorganized waltz.

He stabbed the door's keyhole and yanked open the door. Letting the wind slam it shut behind him.

He felt like he was in the house of a stranger. The lights were off.

He examined the room. Everything was pretty much as he had left it weeks ago.

A few seconds later he saw the light of the bedroom flicker on. A slim figure wearing a thick robe stepped through the doorway,

It was Lindsey.

She froze when she saw him; to her he was also a bad dream. She probably wondered how someone she had loved so profoundly could have become a living nightmare.

"Gerard…" she whispered.

"…What are you doing here?"

Gerard tried to swallow the lump in his throat. The question felt like tiny knives slicing at him. This was his home after all wasn't it? Wasn't the woman standing there clutching at her robe his wife? Was she naked under that robe? Where was the owner of the black sedan…?

"Whose car is that Lindsey…" the anger rising in his voice.

"Gerard-"

"Whose car?"

"Gerard please-"

"WHOSE FUCKING CAR IS THAT DAMMIT!" His voice bounced off the walls.

She flinched.

"Lindsey?" A deep unfamiliar voice called out urgently from the lit bedroom, their bedroom.

A heavy built man stepped out from the bedroom putting his hand on Lindsey's shoulder.

"Who the fuck are you?" He demanded.

Gerard glared at the man's figure. He couldn't feel anything but rage and the blood boiling in his veins.

"Who the fuck am I…?" he hissed through his clenched teeth.

"I'm her fucking husband that's who the fuck I am!"

Lindsey was sobbing now, the man shifted his weight from either foot.

"I'm sorry!" she choked. Every sound she made felt like acid pouring down his throat frying his intestines.

"Don't be fucking sorry…" his voice was breaking.

"Don't be fucking sorry after you fucked that guy like a fucking slut…" He realized that he was subconsciously walking towards them.

Lindsey sobbed harder.

"Hey I don't give a fuck who you are! But you will not disrespect her in front of me…" his voice trailed off as Gerard was close enough to see a glimpse of fear run across the man's face.

Gerard closed the distance between them.

He lunged at the heavy man knocking him into the tile floor.

Gerard had completely lost it.

Everything appeared to be in slow motion. He could hear Lindsey's muffled screams, the thwacking sound of his fist pummeling into the man's face again and again, a loud noise coming from behind him, a child crying…

Lindsey now had him in a choke hold from behind.

He grabbed her skinny arms and flung her into the wall. She wailed in pain and fear.

The man took his chance and punched Gerard in the stomach.

Gerard gasped as the man's fist compressed the air out of his lungs.

The man scrabbled onto his feet behind him finally grabbing the heavy metal in his pants.

Click-click.

Gerard looked up see the face of a gun pointed between his eyes. He had been here before, on his knees with a murder machine in point blank range; execution style.

But he was ready for it this time. He didn't want to know the aftermath of this. He didn't want to feel any more fury, anymore pain…

"NO!" Lindsey screamed.

"DADDY!"

Gerard turned horrified to see the terrorized face of his daughter; she was about to see her father's brains blown out of the back of his head.

He heard a loud crack and a deafening gunfire.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

"FRANK!" Lindsey screeched.

Gerard's heart had stopped beating.

His eyes begging his best friend holding the gun.

"frank…please…don't…" Gerard pleaded. Bandit was now next to him, her little hands clinging onto his shirt as she sobbed quietly, mumbling "daddy" repeatedly into his shoulder.

"Grab Bandit and let's go." His eyes still on the bloody man on the floor.

"W-where…" Lindsey's trembling voice trailed off. "W-where are you going? Where are you t-taking her?"

She was very pale, her expression looked like if she had just seen a ghost, her eyes were lost, unfocused. Her body shook silently.

"Shut up." Was all Frank said, he had never heard voice sound so icy. "Gerard! Let's move! Now."

Gerard scooped his child into his arms and struggled to stand; He felt faint.

"Please…" was the last word he heard his wife whisper. A tear was tickling down her face. Gerard looked down at her for a long time before Frank motioned him to move again with his shoulder, hands still clasping the gun in the man's direction.

The man had a broken jaw, nothing more. And while he was unconscious now, Frank did not take any chances.

Gerard headed for the door, his heart mourning for his wife.

Frank was at his heels now, Gerard noticed that they were running.

The door had been kicked open by Frank earlier, and was hanging off one hinge.

Gerard raced down the porch, it was freezing. Frank flew past him throwing something into the garbage that landed in a low thud, probably the gun. He then hurried to hold the door of the taxi open while Gerard carefully placed his daughter in the warm back seat, who had somehow found sleep in all this. The stress and fear had probably drained the little girl, his little girl...

When Gerard climbed in, he was shocked to see Frank close the door and climb into the passenger's seat. He mumbled something to the driver that he couldn't make out and the driver nodded and began to drive.

It wasn't until they had been driving for a good twenty minutes that Gerard started to regain sensation in all the numbness. Though his brain could not grasp what had happen in the last hour. Or maybe it was minutes?

He looked down at the angelic face of the sleeping child on his lap. He envied her, he envied the peace on her face. She seemed to be shaking though, or was that him? He noticed his body was shaking violently.

He craned his head seeking some kind of reassurance in his best friend's face. But Frank was not looking back, instead he was hissing quietly into his cell phone. Gerard found himself too drained to wonder who he was talking to.

The Taxi eventually stopped at a whatever-looking hotel. Again Frank was on fast forward.

He burst out of the taxi and yanked open Gerard's door quiet not to wake the child. In the blink of an eye he was paying the Taxi driver whispering too low and quickly for him to comprehend. Maybe he was talking at a normal tone and Gerard was just slowly slipping out of consciousness.

Gerard carefully pulled Bandit into his arms and slid out of the toasty car into the cold morning closing the door shut with his hip. The parking lot was slightly spinning.

Once Frank stepped back the taxi driver reversed and drove away without so much as a glance in Gerard's direction.

Frank was moving again, Gerard struggled to keep up. They stumbled up the stairs and into an open room. The inside was way nicer than the outside; it was almost like an condo.

Frank had arranged for someone to leave the room ready, stocked with food and heater running.

He carefully lay Bandit into a large fluffy bed in the master bedroom and pulled the soft warm covers over her tiny body. He planted a heavy shaky kiss on her forehead.

When he closed the door of the room behind him and turned, he was face to face with Frank.

He had strange look in his eye that made Gerard nervous. He had a warm rag in his hand which he used to wipe the thick cold liquid that was plastered to the side of his face and lip, he then realized that the was the same side Mikey had punched him. His shredded remains of his heart yearned with pain for his brother.

Tears were swimming in Frank's eyes. His hands now traced Gerard's face, they were soft and warmer than the blood stained rag by their feet. His eyes were taking inventory of his face stopping at Gerard's lips.

He swallowed loudly before locking his lips hard with Gerard.

It hurt, but the pleasure was greater. Gerard elated heart pulsed for the man he loved in ways that could not be described.

For the man who had yet again saved his life.

Their hands were in each other's hair now. Tugging and pulling as they made out violently. There was no such thing as soft when they were together.

Frank was now driving Gerard into a black sofa bed. Gerard didn't realize that he was unbuttoning Frank's shirt. Frank started unbuttoning Gerard's pants.

They didn't know or care to understand where they were going with this, all they could feel was pleasure.

Frank yanked off his unbuttoned shirt and Gerard pulled down Frank's pants and underwear revealing his hard dick. Gerard didn't think or hesitate, his hand started subconsciously stroking Frank's member. Frank moaned deeply as he proceeded to remove Gerard's pants, revealing his own erection.

Frank resumed kissing Gerard, rubbing his hard dick against Gerard's. They both moaned over the friction of their colliding members, their balls occasionally touching.

Then Frank did what either of them thought would ever happen. He grabbed Gerard without separating their lips and shoved it in inside. Frank gasped loudly and Gerard nearly screamed.

The feeling was amazing.

Gerard moaned loudly between Frank's wet lips as his body worked instinctively.

Frank stopped kissing him to collapse near Gerard's ear moaning just as loud as Gerard moved in and out of him. Sweat running down their bodies, Frank's hard junk against Gerard's lower stomach; Gerard tight inside Frank.

Gerard's hands grasped Frank's hips pulling him deeper. He searched for Frank's lips wanted to feel them on his again.

With hearts racing, mouths moaning and gasping for breath in pure ecstasy, they were no longer two separate entities, but two souls that loved each other beyond their own comprehension.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

Gerard awoke to the sound of a laughing child.

"Uncle Frankie do that again! Do that again!" Her frilly voice giggled excitedly.

"Okay kiddo, but only because you're my favorite niece…"

More hysterics echoed from the girl.

"I'm your only niece silly!" She sniggered.

His eyes fluttered open, he searched for the two voices that kept his heart beating like it had never been frayed.

Frank was prancing around the room shirtless in jeans. In his arms was Bandit waving her arms out like a bird, her blonde curls swinging through the air. They were both laughing happily together.

When he turned and saw Gerard, his eyes instantly grew brighter and his smile, even though it looked physically impossible, stretched even wider.

"Look Bandit! Daddy seems to be coming around!" Frank sung, Gerard felt his stomach make a back flip.

"DADDY! You're awake!"

Bandit was now hurrying to him. He wrapped his arms around her letting the love of a father run hot through his veins.

"Bandit, my little girl…" He said kissing her golden curls.

He looked up to see Frank beaming down at them. He crouched down to eye level and placed his hand on Gerard's arm.

"I love you Gee"

"Daddy! Uncle Frankie said he's going to take us out for ice cream at the park!"

"Is that what Uncle Frankie said?" Gerard mused bouncing her up and down on his stomach, his eyes still locked with Frank's.

"Yeah! And then we're going on the big plane to see Uncle Mikey and Uncle Ray and Uncle Bob and Grandma too!"

Gerard froze.

"Is that so…?" His eyes were now questioning Frank.

"Yup, we will be on that big plane because Bandit wants to see her daddy's show, right Bandit?"

"Yeah!" She bounced.

Gerard took a deep breath but figured he would deal with that later, he couldn't physically worry around Bandit and this light and joyful atmosphere.

"So let's get some ice cream!" He joined in.

Frank scooped Bandit up and nudged her towards the bedroom.

"Go use the restroom and grab your new scarf and coat, whichever color you want"

She nodded and they both watched her skip blissfully through the door.

"New scarf and coat?" Gerard asked.

"Yeah we went out to get some clothes yesterday for Bandit while you were asleep, I figured we didn't have to worry about your for several hours…"

Yesterday?

"…How long was I out?"

"Since-well, yesterday afternoon?" He answered nervously, blushing a little. "You were exhausted…"

Holy crap.

"Anyways, I booked us a flight back, I figured we should get out of here as soon as possible…" his voice trailed off as he stared off into the window. Gerard could see his eyes were glistening with tears.

"He would've killed you." He choked. "He would've killed you if I hadn't jumped in. If I would've listened to you and stayed outside. I just knew something wasn't right, and I was right! You would've died Gerard…" He was sobbing now.

Gerard said nothing; he couldn't say anything, he just watched Frank wipe away every tear that slipped.

He managed to get a hold of himself quickly and sniffed, smiling now at him, his green eyes glossy.

"But your alive, and you with me, and I am so thankful for that…"

His beauty awed Gerard.

Forget the band and the success they have earned; what did he do to have Frank? Frank ran deeper than friendship. He was more than a friend, he ran deeper than a brother or a lover; his spirit ran through Gerard's heart and lungs, stimulating every inch of him.

"I'm ready!" Bandit announced. "Come on! Come on!"

_*Author's Note: The story has only just begun! Subscribe for alerts on new updates!_


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

The rest of the afternoon was cheery.

Frank and Gerard occupied both of Bandit's hands, swinging her in the air after every other step.

Thankfully the temperature had gone up and it was perfectly breezy as they walked around the large local park. Though it also could have been the warmth and love radiating through them.

They stopped by an ice-cream vendor, who was doing quite well today despite the fact that he sells frozen treats in winter, and enjoyed their ice cream as promised.

Today, they were a family.

Bandit also seemed to be having the time of her life, she laughed and screamed bouncing around as Frank and Gerard chased her around the swing set and the monkey bars.

Gerard exhausted and out of breath decided to sit out the next race down the slide. As he rested on a hard wooden bench, he watched Frank climb up and slide down the three-foot tall slide with ease, while poor little Bandit and another freckled girl who had joined in struggled excitedly to keep up. Frank is great with kids, probably because he can be a kid himself sometimes.

Gerard watched smiling, his heart was flying in this perfect day. He couldn't remember being so happy in a long time.

Frank eventually felt Gerard's eyes on him, and walked over, taking a seat next to him.

Gerard watched him from the corner of his eyes while fingering a little brown leaf that had fallen onto his lap.

"Today has been a nice day." He stated.

"Agreed"

"…Like it feels nice, to be with…you"

This surprised Gerard; he wasn't sure what Frank meant.

Frank chuckled; he must've read his mind because he planted a soft kiss on Gerard's cheek and whispered "I don't know what that meant either..." his breath was warm against Gerard's ear. He felt goose bumps run down his body.

"...But yesterday felt so good." They heard a small crackle and the both looked down to see the crushed pieces of the leaf between Gerard's fingers.

Frank chuckled lightly again catching a red flying strand of Gerard's hair and placing it behind his ear, before running and throwing a hysterical Bandit over his shoulder.

* * *

><p>It was the last dinner they would be having before getting back on the plane to the guys in the morning.<p>

They sat splurging on takeout pasta listening to Bandit's animated review on their day. Gerard and Frank laughed and joked forking large forkfuls of spaghetti and lasagna into their mouth.

"-And then Uncle Frankie picked me up and I was so scared! But it was funny too, because I got a tickle in my tummy like when Daddy does it-"

Gerard secretly studied Frank's face, stealing glances when he was not looking. He nearly jumped out of his seat when the phone in his pocket began to vibrate violently,

Bandit continued her playful ramble but Frank's eyes were watching him now. All the glossy brightness had disappeared in them. His expression was no longer light; his lips were pressed in a hard line, his eyebrows squared.

It was hard to look away from the unhappy Frank who had returned. He peeled his eyes away from his livid gaze and looked down to see the words "Linds".

The air felt thicker and it was hard for him to breathe; His lungs burned.

"I…will be right back…" he said dryly and slid off his chair not looking at Frank and almost ran awkwardly out to the balcony.

It was much colder now and the wind wooed and cried in the dark night.

Gerard hit the green button and pressed the icy metal against his ear, not bothering to speak.

"Hello?" came Lindsey's furious frantic voice.

"What." His voice came out in a whisper.

"Where the hell are you and where is my daughter? Who the fuck do you think you are? She's my daughter! You can't just leave with her! Now tell me where she is! Put her on the phone!"

"Is the black sedan still parked outside your house?" It was her house now. He could never refer to that place as his anymore.

"W…what?" she breathed, disoriented by his question.

Gerard waited, though he knew the answer. She sobbed into the phone. The all too familiar pain was ripping and tearing through him again, destroying anything that had begun to heal.

"Where are you taking my daughter!" she wept.

He exhaled.

"She's my daughter too. You don't have to worry about her." Gerard was now trying to choke back his own tears. "You won't be able to reach us at this number anymore. She will call you when we unboard the plane."

"Plane? What-? No! Wait!-"

Gerard hurled the phone through the darkness. He heard it crack on some rocks before there were several little splashes on the black lake below.

Gerard's body shook, tears trickled their same familiar path down his face. He felt hollow again.

He looked up at the starry sky, he wanted to cry out to the heavens for the pain that was eating him inside. How could his wife, the woman he had fallen so deeply in love with. The woman who had bore him his child, throw him and their promise of a life of happiness away? Even if she did not care about him, even if she could stand to watch a stranger blow the brains out of her husband with a silver bullet, how could she stand to know that Bandit was watching?

This whole time he had suppressed the knowledge of that last thought. What would happen to Bandit then? What happens to you when you see in insides of your father spread out in front of you? What happens when his blood splatters onto you, your skin, and your face? What does it feel like to wash his blood away from your arms?

Gerard was feeling dizzy; he leaned over and vomited over the ledge. His knees buckled and gravity was slowly pushing him down. He heard the splatter of the vomit on the rocks below. His ears were ringing.

He saw Lindsey dancing with the man. Her blonde hair twirling through the air as the man smiled at him with bloody teeth.

He saw a shirtless Frank pointing a gun to him; Mikey and Ray were at his shoulders. Gerard blinked his eyes. "Mikey?" they laughed menacingly at him. "You like Frank don't you?" He asked, before another explosion of laughter. Frank cocked the gun. "No Frank please…" He turned his head to the side and smiled, "faggot" he said just before he pulled the trigger.

The shot hit him square in the chest knocking him backwards. The concrete floor was racing up to him and the black was swallowing him.

"Gee!"

Gerard looked over and saw another Frank running towards him, but the blackness had already devoured him.


End file.
